Sunday, July 27, 2014

Meet Clyde // A Totally Fabulous Interview With Someone Who Is Not Named Clyde

I met Clyde at Panera, where we each got a bagel and split a blueberry cream cheese three ways with a stranger at the adjoining table   another friend because we are cheap thrifty money smart. 

Clyde wore pink shorts by, I don't know, Target or something, and a bandana. Also a shirt.  After Bible study, she was kind enough to answer a few questions for me / Allison. 

This is an interview conducted by Allison because I am enslaving Allie at the time. Yes. Okay, here we go.

The interviewee is Allie's (and my!) teenage friend Clyde.

A: So what's your fake name?
C: Clyde.

A: What is your hidden talent?
C: Catfishing.

A: Would you like to expand?
C: No

A: Okay
C: Should I be taking this seriously?

A: What's your favorite TV show?
C: Criminal Minds because it's all that's ever on.  Not really, but yeah.

A: Name someone that you admire.
C: I admire my grandma. Wait, this is going in there with the catfishing and stuff?

A: Who's Canadia's current Prime Minister?
C: Oh, that guy . . . no, he's the mayor or something. I was going to say the guy that smokes pot but he's the mayor.
A: Yeah, I don't know either.

A: Do you prefer cake or pie?
C: Pie.
A: Me too! What's your favorite kind?
C: I don't know. They're all good.

A: If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
C: Ummm, how about fettcuini (I know it's spelled wrong, don't judge me.) alfredo.
A: No, that's not allowed.
C: Okay.
A: But if that's all I ate I would probably die.

A: What's your favorite memory with me?
C: Wait, you're really calling me Clyde? Come on.
A (the other one, as in Allie.  I'm back from my stint at unpaid employment ((aka slavery)) as Allison's college essay proofreader.)
C: I hate having to think of real answers to questions on the spot because the first thing I come up with to say is probably going to be something stupid that happened in grade school.
A: Anything you say can and will be used against you.
C: Okay. In algebra in eight grade when Mr. Heff had to stop teaching the other class to yell at us.  We were such bad kids.
A: DQs for life! (DQ stands for delinquent.  It was the letters that Clyde and I decided we were going to have after our names someday, when we were the only eighth graders in Algebra and causing trouble.)
C: But I don't know if that's my favorite.

A: Quote a movie, any movie rightnowgo!
C: No more rhymes now, I mean it! Anybody want a peanut? Wait, I should have said something from Forrest Gump.  I just watched that. Life is like a box of chocolates: never know what you're gonna get!  My momma always says stupid is as stupid does.
A: I love that movie!
C: I do, too. Do you cry at the end?
A: I get all sad . . . maybe I should watch that tonight, since I've been all emotional lately. (I have!)

A: Did that last question make you a little anxious?
C: Yes, definitely. I was very nervous.  Is that normal?
A: Yes, that's why this is a question, duh!

A: Name something inappropriate that you always laugh at.  Hey, this is a good one for you!
C: The things that my brother (he's 8) says. And does. And, yes, they are VERY inappropriate.
A: Anything specific to share? I love Daniel stories! (Her little brother is seriously hilarious.)
C: Might be too inappropriate for your ears.  (laughs) Sometimes he'll perk up, like when he's trying to figure out what me and Cristine are talking about. He'll guess, and we'll be like, "No Daniel, that's not it," and he'll be like, "Sexual activity?" That's the first thing he says.
A: (shows Clyde the computer) Is that about right?
C: Three question marks.
A: "Sexual activity???"

A: So, Clyde, how old are you?
C: How old is Clyde and how old am I are not the same question.  Clyde, to be exact, is sixty and retired.  I'm sixteen.
(I've informed Clyde that she needs to start a blog and write about how the name Clyde came about so I can link to it and you all can understand what's going on and laugh your heads off at it. So, that's coming soon.)

A:  You work at Panera. What's your favorite thing to eat there? In your expert opinion.
C: My favorite sandwich is the Southwest Chicken Flatbread. Is that all?
A: Yes.  //

Clyde is the one in disguise.  I know, all this secrecy. 

A special thanks to Panera Wi-Fi for helping us to conduct this interview.  And to the lovely staff for not throwing us out. 

That's all for today, folks!  I'll let you know when Clyde gets that blog up and running - she's really funny and understands basic grammar rules / English, so she's going to be great!

Meet even more new friends through interview at Juliette, Faith, and Allie's blogs!



  1. Everything about this is totally fabulous -- except for my face at the end. Oh well, can't win at everything. Thanks for being my slave by the way! It'll happen again, I promise.

    1. Agreed, except you look gorg. Anytime! Nothing I'd rather be doing. Ever.


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