Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Everyone Needs An Arch Nemesis // Stories About My Cat

Mine happens to be my cat, Si / Pepper.  She has all my friends and family fooled, apparently. They all seem to think that she's just the best thing since our old cat blew this popsicle stand, but she's not. She's a life ruiner.  She ruins lives.  End of story.  She has it out for me, and that's no way to make friends.

She's obviously a master of destruction.  Just look at her, sitting there and plotting against me. 

*Side note: The whole two name thing is due to the fact that when we were naming her, my little sister, who the cat technically belongs to, wanted to name Si Pepper.  I thought it would be funny to name Si Si, after Uncle Si on Duck Dynasty.  My brother and I both really like the name Si, but we get in trouble for calling her that out loud because my sister doesn't like it and Si is her cat.  Besides that, Si is a girl and we don't want her to have gender identity issues.  But this is my blog, and I'm going to call her Si. 

Si and I started off okay.  She was this cute little kitten who purred really loudly and I was a naive fourteen year old girl.

Then, it started.

At least once a week during my junior year of high school, when I was already suffering from lack of sleep because, homework, Si would walk into my room at around 2 AM and start scratching at a post of my loft bed.  And scratching.  And scratching.  While I was supposed to be sleeping.  When If I finally fell asleep after all that racket, I would wake up in the morning to find Si's handiwork, ie a pile of bed dust accompanied by a bed post that was getting closer by the scratch to breaking and unceremoniously dumping me on the floor while I slept.  Things went downhill fast when she started doing that.

Some nights, Si wasn't content to destroy my bed and steal my precious hours of sleep.  She also felt the need to knock things over.  How fun!  The worst was when she stuck her paw in a glass of water, looked right at me, and proceeded to tip the glass over, never breaking eye contact.  The nerve! 

Then there was the time that I was icing my knee (I'm less than a year out of ACL reconstruction surgery and still recoveringish)  and she grabbed the bag of ice in her mouth and pulled it off my knee.  Like, she purposefully attempted to do damage to my health.  Don't tell me she was just curious about the mysterious, cold plastic bag.  She knew what she was doing.

(Almost) caught in the act.  I didn't Instagram her . . . this time.  Just you wait, Si.  Just you wait. 

She also tried really hard to eat the brace that keeps me from breaking my knee some more during physical activity.  Ok . . . she looks kind of cute here.  But so did Regina George, and she was mean. 
When she couldn't destroy my knee, Si went after my mental health.  Last night, I was sleeping (in a very warm, friendly, non-threatening way, I don't mind adding) on the pull out couch in our basement.  You know how there's kind of a crack between the pull out bed part and the couch back part?  Yeah, well Si had decided to crawl under the bed / couch and hang out for a while and set up shop right under the crack.  When I moved my hand a leeeettle too close, she felt the need to aggressively maintain her territory.  In other words, she slipped her grubby little cat paw up through the crack and attacked my hand.  In the middle of the night.  While I was sleeping.  It terrified me and so we're in a fight right now, because that was kind of a jerk move.

I'm off to cat proof my room.  And my knee.  And my life.  Wish me luck!



  1. This was literally the funniest thing ever. I like the name Si better myself. Cute blog! <3

    1. Well, thanks Nifah! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Can you tell my family that you like Si better, please? It might help my case a little bit.

  2. Si sounds like a good arch nemesis for you. I mean, who better than a total life ruiner, right? :)

    1. Tell me about it! The evilest (most evil?) of the evil. No wimpy arch nemesis for me!


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