Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Friendly Advice // Things I Want to Scream At Freshman in the Hallways

"STOP BEING A JERK!"  In other words, being mean doesn't make you cool.  I think a lot of times, kids of all grades think that being a jerk will earn them a ticket to the popular party.  Well, guess what?  I'm obviously the holder of the tickets to the popular party, and I don't like it when people are mean, so there. Ha.

"DON'T CUT THROUGH THE LIBRARY!" It's not that I really car whether they, or anyone, cuts through the library.  I think I just have some kind of deep-seated bitterness left over from the time when I was singled out for taking the shorter way back to my locker.  If I had to experience that, they should, too.

"DO YOUR HOMEWORK!"  In other words, classes actually matter now and if you don't do well you could lose 2045084 dollars in scholarship money / not get into the college of your choice / have to take two math classes in one year / ruin your whole entire life.

Also, your cat napping on top of your binder (above) is not a legitimate excuse for nt doing your homework, nor are the activities pictured (below) actually considered studying. 

"YOU'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 5 DAYS! STOP MAKING OUT!" In other words, you're probably not going to end up marrying that guy that you think is super hot freshman year.  Related: Freshman boys are not hot.  So just stop making out, please and thanks.

In other words, the friend who submitted this one is short and for some reason thinks that senior year will be the year that she's taller than someone she goes to school with.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!"  In other words, we seniors feel like the fact that we've been in high school for three more years than you have earns us the right to walk down the halls unopposed.  There's not really a good reason for that, but that's the way it usually goes.  Personally, I think it's just common courtesy to try to avoid running into another human being when you walk past them.  Just me? Okay.

"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP STANDING THERE AND SO SOMETHING?"  In other words, go to stuff!  Join stuff! Play stuff! Do stuff with people!  High school is not nearly enough fun without doing things like painting your body for football games or making a fool of yourself in front of the entire school while running for student council.  (I've done neither of these things.  Obviously my listening skills are impeccable.) But, forreal.  Hang out at school as often as possible.  Totally worth it.

Also, make a big deal about everything. My friends and I decorate each other's lockers and eat cake at school for each of our birthdays, and it's just the best! 

"DO YOU THINK ANYONE REALLY CARES?"  In other words, don't stress about what you look like or whether you do things wrong.  If you're anything like me, your style might be a little off sometimes  almost every day and you'll do stuff wrong (ahem, cutting through the library.)  Some of my favorite things that I did freshman year are things that I wouldn't be caught dead doing now.

For example, going out to the football field to take pictures with your friends after school. Not pictured: me wearing the sweatshirt of a boy I'm not going to marry.

|" YOU'RE A FRESHMAN!" In other words, yes, it's high school, but you're still pretty young, so go ahead and act like it!  Get comfortable with not knowing things and having to ask for help.  Watch the TV shows you loved as a kid. Bring your pillow pet to sleepovers. Four years later, you're going to have to basically be a functioning adult (ew), so take the opportunity to not so that while you can!

Also, embrace your ridiculously high metabolism.  Eat all the brownies.  An entire pan.  Just know that you'll have to cut that habit someday.  #OrNaw


P.S. Check out Itunu's Declassified School Survival Guide for more help with all things education.  Probably in a nicer tone of voice.

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