Wednesday, September 24, 2014

How to Make Your Fake Toms Really Muddy // Photo Journal

I've walked on a highway, I mean, with my actual feet on the actual road that the cars are supposed to go one, twice in my life.  The first time was in Texas, immediately after our car got in a fight with a bunch of other cars and made such a big mess that they had to block off all of the lanes.  Sure, our car was totaled and we were going to have to extend our vacation a few days, but I GOT TO WALK ON THE HIGHWAY!  My five year old self thought that it was pretty much the best thing ever, though.  

On Sunday, I got a chance to walk on the highway again under slightly less destructive circumstances.  An interstate near us has recently been redone, and they (I have no idea who "they" are.  The highway people?) opened it up for a couple hours for people to walk, bike, roller blade, and unicycle up and down it to their hearts' content.  By the way, it wasn't just one, um . . . unicycler?  Unicyclist?  Unicycling professional?  Apparently unicycling is becoming a mainstream skill and I need to brush up on my sense of balance and general coordination so that I can participate and be like the cool kids.  You heard it here first. 

After parking, we had to walk along the top of the highway to an on ramp to get in.  Isn't that a weird blurry sight, with all those people and no cars?  Jonah and I decided that 96 should permanently become a walking highway.

 If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen these already.  In you don't, 1) rude! and 2) you have not seen these yet.  We're witty and so these had to happen.

We finally reached the on ramp, where I forced Jonah to be my personal photographer and take pictures of me walking.  I think I'm going to have to fire him, because I specifically told him to make me look pretty, and this is what I got.

Not pretty.  So, yeah.  He's looking for work, if anyone wants him.

So, anyway, my ex-photog and I made a beeline for the median as soon as we hit the cement.  I told him to "Do something cool," and so he did, obviously.

I then managed to climb up, in my dress, while still maintaining a little bit of modesty.  I mean, I wear bikinis in public so I guess this wasn't that bad.

We walked around and people watched / paparazzi'd the crowd.  You guys, I did not get a single unicycle picture and I don't know how that happened but I swear they were everywhere else!

The sky started to look like this (you're supposed to be noticing the dark clouds) and then it rained.  Don't worry, I had a rain jacket, but my camera didn't and so that put a damper (ha, ha) on the whole paparazzi - ing thing.

The weather was obviously very intense, because look at that little scooter boy trying to protect his face from the driving winds.

When we'd had enough of getting drilled in the face with cold rain drops, we escaped by running up the embankment, which was made out of vicious shoe-eating mud, and through a gate that someone had conveniently placed at the top.

On the way back to the car, we heard the high school marching band playing.  A huge crowd was gathered around, and band members sat on the median and entertained them. So fun!

And that, my friends, is the best and most efficient way to make your fake Toms really muddy. 


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