Wednesday, January 21, 2015

But We Can Still Be Friends, Right? // Job Searching in GIFS

I will never, ever, EVER judge an unemployed person for as long as I live.

Ever.  And before you yell at me for being a terrible person for judging unemployed people, well, just know that I might actually agree with you.

 I'd hear those statistics about all of the unemployed people in our country and think "Well, why don't they just go get one!  Just go walk into some business establishment that has employees and demand a job!"  And then I smugly thought it was that easy, because, duh, almost every business establishment has employees and anyone can handle McDonald's.

Rest assured that I now realize that, no, there is not a perfectly-suited job for everyone who is willing and able to look for one.  Also, I'm not confident that McDonalds would be that easy, because you have to work quickly and be nice to the customers and you're probably not allowed to just stick your head under the McFlurry machine whenever. That's why I did not apply there.

You see, I've been trying to get a job, as in an entry-level, minimum wage paying job.  Apparently, it's a lot harder that you'd think. I know.

 I'm pretty sure that I've applied for every single position that falls under those qualifications within a ten-mile radius of my house, and I've yet to find myself somewhere to work.  I mean, if all of my prospective jobs had panned out, I'd  be simultaneously making sandwiches (at multiple locations of several different sandwich shops) and filing papers with my hands while answering a customer's questions over the phone, restocking shelves, ringing up a purchase at a cash register, and making a face on an ice cream cone with sprinkles.  The people that I've listed as references would be inundated with calls and emails to the point that they'd have to ask me to please, please stop listing them.  But they're not, and I'm not.  I'm actually just sitting at a computer, writing about it.  If only I had some kind of hobby that could turn into a job with enough time and effort . . .

Honestly, it's getting a little frustrating, but I guess I'm probably learning a life lesson or something.  Something along the lines of "getting a job is hard," or, better yet, "don't unnecessarily become unemployed." Also, "check to make sure that a store hires people under age eighteen before filling out an entire application and driving there to drop it off," and "make sure you save your online application before you shut down your computer." That's a good one.  That one's very important.

Recently, I got kind of desperate and called a family friend of ours who runs a Coldstone Creamery to ask how I was supposed to get hired. (Note to self: next time, ask advice from an older, wiser person long before desperation happens.)  According to her, I have to a) not be crazy and not have crazy parents b) come to work when I say I'm going to, and c) not steal their money.  Which should have been reassuring, because I feel like I meet those of those requirements as long as my mom doesn't ruin it for me.  Just kidding, Mom! Great, I just lost a reader.  But hearing that list also created a little, tiiiiny bit of self-doubt for me.  That's why I'm not getting a job, isn't it? I've been coming off as a crazy teenager who likes to steal money and skip work to spend time with her crazy parents.  How did this happen?  That's not what I was going for.  I've been trying really hard not to exude "crazy money stealer" or anything slightly related. 

I mean, I don't know.  It's possible. 

The bottom line is that I've learned a lot about being an adult these last couple weeks, most of which boils down to the fact that it's a lot harder than it looks.  So, good job, adults.  I'm more impressed with you now.  You all deserve presents.

I'll buy you all something nice once I get a job. Until then . . .

Let the job search continue!

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